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Screenshot 2015-03-13 13.28.26

A Gold Nugget For Successful Networking

I think we have all been there:

You go to a networking meeting where people ask each other what they do.

And over and over you witness participants twitch, take a deep breath, look on the floor and mumble “I help women between 35 and 50 who struggle with feeling unfulfilled and undeserving release their blocks and beliefs so that they can feel feel better about themselves and become successful in their business.”

Really???

Is that what they do?

What does this mean?

I want to share with you, and this might make some people uncomfortable, that whenever I hear an elevator pitch like this, my first reaction is: This person is just starting. This person might even still struggle with these issues herself and now turns it into her message. The more meetings you attend, the more you will understand why this is a cookie cutter message that every new coach uses, and when you attend a conference with 500 or even 1000 people, you will hear that exact pitch over and over and over again.

There is nothing unique about stating that we help women who want to be successful.

It’s kind of the general job description of being a coach, isn’t it?

Unless you have earned specific expertise that would give you the right you to put your stake in the ground as the “women over 50 expert”, like a book, a youtube channel for this specific population, a successful podcast series or a a truly targeted, purposeful program that you have been running for a while, chances are, that you will become invisible and forgettable in the crowd of other coaches who state exactly the same as you.

Don’t create a new name for what you do, if you want to be taken seriously by strangers

I have seen coaches go to the extent of calling themselves a new name, creating job descriptions that were running the gamut from cute “I am a “eat cupcakes daily coach” – because I help my clients feel deserving ion their life and eat desserts to celebrate” to: “I am a money story coach, because I help people understand why they have no money and how they can fix that.”

Do you see how the business ideas behind these names were actually specific and good, but when you hear the description, you go “huh – that’s weird!” in your head?

So why even try to be different and unique just for the reason that nobody else has ever come up with it?

Is it really necessary to be different and unique to run a successful business?

Yes, this might be the German in me, but I always sigh a sigh of relief when coaches just tell me what they do:

“I am a business coach, and I specialize in helping small business owners put the systems in place that they need to run their company on autopilot….”

Or: “I am a success coach, and I specialize in helping women create the necessary business mindset that they will need to break through 6 figures.”

This is pretty clear, isn’t it? And no-nonsense, right?

And memorable and professional, would you agree?

 

Why do you think that these people can be so clear about what they do?

If you are a new coach, you might not like the answer, but here it goes:

Because they have experience.

They have actually done it.

They have actually helped enough people to know exactly who they want to work with.

They know where their talents are most needed and which clients will do very well when they invest into their services.

 

What can you do as a new coach who doesn’t have that experience yet?

 

Well, the easiest answer would be: Go out into the world and get it!

Talk to people, see if you can help them!
See who has problems that you can solve, and find ways to solve them.

talk to people that you have already helped and ask them what was good about working with you.

Then ask the same people what was not so good, what they would suggest could be improved.

Don’t be afraid!

There is gold in this information, and people like you even more when you are vulnerable and willing and interested to learnThe truth is, in my experience, that you don’t really need a fancy job description to start your business.

Over time, you will gain two things: The words that others use to describe you, and a lot more fun with and confidence in what you do. Doesn’t that sound more realistic and appealing?

 

So what do you say at these networking meetings as a new coach?

The trick is not to make people remember what you do, but to remember YOU!

So make a nice contact.

Keep it simple.

Tell them you are a business coach or a relationship coach, or whatever you do, and then ask them about themselves!!!

People will remember you when you ask a lot of  questions about THEIR business.

They will remember that you are nice, trustworthy, not after their clients, and a great resource for information and connections.

The more you make your networking about the people you talk to, the more they will talk and remember you.

 

The purpose of networking meetings is to create relationships

So creating personal connections is the goal. Nad to know exactly who you need to work with and who is not in your field.

The more people know and like you, the easier it will be for them to remember you, even if you don’t have a lot to say yet.

own that you are starting out, don’t hide it but also don’t magnify it.

If you didn’t have a predisposition to do what you do, you would choose a different field, isn’t this true?

 

A piece of GOLD: Do you “work with” or do you “care about”?

Here is a piece of “gold” that I share with my coaches:

I recommend not to say “I work with” or “I help”. This is what everybody uses and overuses.

If you really want to stand out, use the sentence

“I care about…” instead.

People will always ask you why you care about them.

Then you can tell your story.

And then you can expand on what you know about their problems, and the pathways or solutions that you found.

 

Wouldn’t it be nice to talk to people at networking meetings that tell you who they care about and why, instead of “Helping women over 50…?”

Who do YOU care about?

 

talking to groups

Let your niche find you

When speaking to new coaches, I usually notice how hard it is for them to clearly define what their “niche” could be.

I have seen tears, fear, overwhelm, anger, frustration, resentment, entitlement, sadness, and all sorts of blocks, including deservingness, fear of success, fear of failure, fear of money,… come up.

And for full disclosure, I can SO relate to this from my personal experience!

What do you stand for?

What is your point of view?

And what do you have to offer that people would actually like to have and pay for?

When you are in business for a while, you have gained experience and gathered feedback about the quality and value of your work and services.

But as a relative newbie, how could you possibly say with authority what makes you stand out from the crowd?

 

Can you start a business without having a niche?

People say that you can’t make money unless you have a niche.

So does this mean that you can’t start a business before you aren’t clear?

No, it does not.

You see, your niche is where you can be the most relevant.

It reflects what makes you special and unique.

People want to follow you when you have a story to prove your point of view.

They like you and want to learn more from you when you are more than book smart, and instead have your personal experiences to support what you say.

 

A great way to find your niche

Think about three events in your life that have really taught you an important lesson.

What did you learn?

How did you learn it?

What did it feel like to learn this?

What is the message that you can share with others as a result of the experiences you had?

 

Work through these three events and get really clear what they have inn common.

Did they make you more resilient?

Did they make you feel smaller than you are?

Did they make you realize how powerful you are.

 

If you are not clear about the messages in your stories, ask a friend to listen to you while you tell them.

Then get their feedback.

What did they hear you say?

What stood out?

What did they not like so much?

How do these stories fit into the picture that they already had from you?

 

These kind of exercises are gold.

They truly are an amazing way to learn quickly what makes you special to others.

And then just go and start telling this stories.

Get short speaking gigs where you talk about your experiences and what you have learned.

Collect feedback from strangers.

Fine tune your speech.

Repeat.

 

The courage to keep going will pay off

In no time, you will discover your niche, the group of people who benefit the most from your unique experiences and skills, and what you can offer them that has value and relevance for them.

Please don’t quit when you get uncomfortable.

Don’t get discouraged when you feel that you are not perfect yet.

Perfection comes with practice and support.

Decide that you will actually go out and speak, and that you are committed to getting the feedback that you need.

 

You can do it!

You will see that your niche will find you, and they will love you for who you are.

There are lots of people who need you right now.

It will change your life as much as it will change theirs.

 

Would love to hear your thoughts on this!

Ingrid

dreamstimefree_5039301

Why being amazing can keep you stuck

Many people struggle with the idea of not being good enough to charge for their services.

But I also see a different phenomenon quite frequently:

People who actually know that they are amazing.

But they still can’t move forward. They are still stuck.

When I talk to them, they tell me how wonderful their life is.

They are full of enthusiasm about the great work that they are doing.

They are passionate about the value of what they offer, and their intuitive and personal abilities.

 

So why are they stuck?

But at the same time, they don’t step up and offer their services in a business like way.

They  often want to be discovered by influential people who help them get paid, instead of taking their life into their own hands.

And when we get down to what might be going on for them, they realize that they now feel inadequate.

All of a sudden, the excitement about their work and value is deflating into quite the opposite.

 

What is going on here?

I would like to introduce a thought that may or may not resonate with you:

As long as we are surrounded by people who know less than we do, it is easy to feel confident and powerful.

But we are at risk of measuring our self worth in relation to the people and circumstances that surround us.

We feel “better than” or “not as good as…” .

The higher your own vibration, the higher the vibration of the people surrounding you, remember? As we grow, we see more and more people who are actually at least as capable as we are, hopefully even better.

The Good News

Loosing that feeling of uniqueness and “being amazing at something” is actually a good thing. It shows that you are growing quickly, and are now seeing people you weren’t able to see before.

 The Bad News

But it also gives a huge hit to the ego that was so proud of you for having come this far. It can feel humbling and vulnerable, and for some people downright threatening to admit that we are not that unique after all.

Yes, me too…

I happily admit that I have experienced this myself, and I had to sit myself down hard to understand what was actually going on there. As I was growing and changing, I realized that my new friends and colleagues, the people began to attract into my life, were a different caliber than many of the people that I had known before.

They were different

I attracted more and more powerful healers and successful business people, into my life, women and men who did huge amounts of personal work. They invested into their businesses on a level unknown to me until then. They continuously learned and studied and did the work they needed to do to get to where they wanted to be.

All of a sudden I felt small

The fact that others did so much more than me to create their dream life was indeed humbling to me. Until then, a part of me had believed that being really good at what I do would somehow automatically lead to more success. Now I saw that if I truly wanted more, I had to make shifts that were scary and overwhelming. But if I kept doing what I was doing, I would not be able to get much further. This was clear to me, wether I liked it or not – and I can share with you that in the beginning, I truly didn’t like this reality all that much.

I had a decision to make

Was I going to continue to feed my ego with the amazing results that my clients were getting due to the work we did, and hope that I would somehow “attract” the change I wanted?

Or was I going to explore what those who had what I wanted actually did to get it, risking that the reality of this would make me uncomfortable?

I knew that I didn’t really have a choice.

The reality was obvious:

In order to grow, I had to let go of any preconceived notion of accomplishment and greatness, which only existed on the level I was getting ready to leave. It was time to begin to study what else was necessary to reach my goals.

I had to invest (yes, there’s that scary word…) into myself and my business.

I had to become vulnerable before myself, my family and my friends, admitting that I needed help and support, just like everybody else.

I had to surrender to the power of my goals and dreams.

Yes, it wasn’t a choice. It was obvious: I could either give up and quit, or bite the bullet and embrace the changes and investments that it took to gain new momentum.

Don’t get intimidated when people are better than you!

As you grow, you will find more and more people who already have what you want. As you learn from them, you will find that they already see you for who you can be.

– They lift you up to their level and support you on your journey.

– They want you to be just as successful as they are.

– They talk with you on their level, giving you the acknowledgement you deserve for the path you have already walked.

They see you. They love you. They see themselves in you.

Therefore, they support you and want the best for you. Their accomplishments give you proof that you, too can have what you want. If they can do it, you can do it!

So instead of feeling small and stuck when people around you are all of a sudden intimidatingly successful, understand and embrace that your new community is actually just living proof for how far you have come.

You are amazing.

Don’t stop before you reached the finish line!

 

Tapping Insiders Club

Get this 2 hour EFT for Business Interview

Tapping Insiders Club

Oops, I might have over delivered a bit when I gave this EFT for Business and Success Interview. We had planned on doing 4 free tapping scripts, but we ended up doing eight. I just want you to have this information, so you can get started on your own journey to succes!

In the four parts of the interview, we talk at length about the four different success styles of coaches and healing professionals, the four different ways to deal with our personal trauma, and why 3 of these strategies will most likely not lead to a successful business, and also the four boundaries you need to establish in order to live a life and mission that fills your soul and not just your bank account.

When you click on the link above, you’ll get to the info page for the Tapping Insiders Club. In the top right corner is a tab saying “already a member?” Click on it, and it will lead you to the site!

People waiting in airports

Lessons From A Cancelled Flight: Think Outside Of The Box To Get The Easy Answers

When we came home from our trip to Germany, where we spent the Holidays with our  family and friends, we found ourselves stranded in Newark airport. Our flight to Manchester, NH was cancelled, due to the severe winter conditions that have kept the East Coast captive.

It was 11:00pm EST, but our internal clocks said that it was 5:00am, and we hadn’t been able to get any sleep on the flight from Europe.

A man in a red jacket told us very causally that our flight was cancelled, and that we now had to wait in line to rebook for a different flight.

Waiting in line

I looked at the line: There were hundreds of people patiently waiting to get their turn talking to 10 clerks at the different counters. We were asked to wait outside of the waiting hall, in a new line, until things moved, and we would be allowed to join the crown of the hundreds, that was not moving.

The people behind the counters took their time. They were in no rush, and after watching for about 15 minutes that the situation wasn’t changing, I began to look for a better solution.

Starting to ask questions and thinking outside of the box

I went to one of the employees with the red jackets and asked them why everybody was waiting in line. “To rebook their flight” they said. “Is this the only way they can rebook a flight?” I asked. “Can we not do this online as well?” “Ma’am, I don’t know.” said the employee. “You have to wait in line to rebook your flight. Please wait outside until it is your turn!”

“How long have these hundreds of people waiting already?” I asked. “Some of them 4-5 hours or longer.” was the answer.

“Is there a different counter in this airport, where we might be able to rebook our flight?” I asked.

“Yes, but I don’t know if this is full or not. You have to wait here.” Said the employee.

I looked into the tired faces of the people waiting in line, their confusion and resignation to waiting for hours without any change at all.

“We flew in with Swiss Air, and now transfer to American Airlines.” I told the employee. “Maybe someone from Swiss can answer my questions if there is a way to rebook the flight online or over the phone?” “I don’t know, but you can try to ask them directly. They are over there. There is only one person waiting in that line.” said the employee.

The Swiss Clerk did her best to help, and what I learned was that I could go to the regular airline desk and see if things would move a bit quicker there. So that question saved me 4 hours of waiting in line.

Taking action

I asked my husband to wait with our suitcases, so we didn’t loose our place in line, took my daughter with me and went over to the official airline desk. The line there was significantly shorter, maybe 30 people were waiting, but only one desk was still open. Again, I asked the people in the from how long they had been waiting in line, and they said that they had been there for over 2 hours already.

The solution is showing up

An announcement came through, telling us, that this desk would be closing at 12:30am, and it might be that not all waiting passengers could be served until then.

And then it came: Over the speakers, they told everybody who was waiting in line: “If you’d like to make your reservation over the phone, please dial 1-877-xxx-xxxx!”

I was stunned.

I took out my cell phone and noted the number. I waited for another announcement to confirm the final digits.

Stepping out of the crowd dynamics

I was the ONLY one in line who was taking this action. The ONLY one! Nobody else wrote down the number and called!

Then I called.

I had to wait for about 5 minutes, until I had a very friendly and knowledgeable woman on the phone who quickly told me that I could either take two seats on the airline that went out the next morning, or three seats on the airplane that left the day after. Everything else was booked solid.

She told me she’d be happy to make the reservation for me, and that I should call her back asap after discussing these options with my husband.

I told the people who had been waiting in line about the phone number. They preferred to keep waiting in line, even though they had just been told that the counter would close soon and they would most likely not be served that night.

Deciding on the best solution

Then I went back to my husband who was still in line in the hall with the hundreds of people that had been waiting in line for 5-6 hours already.

We decided to get a rental car instead, get some sleep in a hotel nearby and drive back the next morning, instead of being separated on two different flights.

Trying to help a crowd that wants to remain stuck

Before we left the airport, I wanted to help those who had been waiting for so long. I felt that I wanted to give them the information I had been trying to get from the employee, about how to rebook a flight without having to wait for hours in line.

So I walked up to the middle of the line, picked one person who seemed alert, and said with a bit of a raised voice: “Did you know that there is a phone number you can call to rebook your flight? I just called and it took only minutes to get somebody on the phone who could help me.”

The crowd started to move, people looked at me, and wanted to hear more. The person I picked immediately smiled, came over and asked for the number.

I read the number out loud, for people to hear, so they could take it down and call while they were waiting in line. They didn’t have to give up their space in line, they now just had another option to call and take charge of the situation.

Knowing that people had been waiting for hours already, I expected everybody to jump on this opportunity to take charge and change their miserable situation.

So you will understand how stunned I was about the reaction of the crowd:

The first person, that I had picked to start the conversation actually took the number down and called. Then a man came over and yelled at me that he had tried to call the number twice and didn’t get through (in 5 hours, he called twice….).

Then a woman asked me how she could check her suitcases when making a reservation over the phone (the airline wasn’t going to check suitcases until the airplane was there anyways).

Some people said that they had been waiting for so long now that they wanted to just sit it out (even though all they needed to do was pick up the phone while waiting in line. Nothing would be lost, but something could be won.)

The rest just watched what everybody else was doing. Nobody else took the number. Nobody asked questions.

Nobody else took charge!

I was stunned, a bit shocked, to tell you the truth.

Why would people not take an opportunity that could turn their situation around, put them ahead of the pack, get them an advantage to save time and money?

Why would they do as they were told from an employee who didn’t have the bigger picture of the situation but was only told to tell everybody to wait in line?

Why would they not even try to find a good solution for themselves?

Why would they even get angry at the messenger for a missed attempt, instead of trying again?

I have to take a breath here.

I know that a lot of people are like that, and they have their reasons, fears and beliefs that have gotten them there.

Are YOU ready to think outside of the box?

But do you want to be one of them, or do you want to live your life according to what the universe, the system, your surroundings have in stock for you?

Do you want to live by other people’s limitations, or make up your own mind how you want to live, what you want to do and what opportunities are important to you?

Do you want to take charge of your income, your work and the impact you have in other people’s lives, or “live by the rules” that have often been created by people in red jackets that only do their job without having the greater good in mind?

An invitation to talk

If you want to talk about how you can leave the crowd and become your own, empowered you, determining your own income, your work, your opportunities and your future, please connect with me.

http://ingriddinter.com/free-success-strategy-session/

I’d love to offer you a free, 20 minute consultation so we can talk about your dreams and the strategies that can get you there.

yes, some of them will require you to think outside of the box.

But there is no box anyways. There are just things we were told to be true for reasons we might not understand.

Take a heart and make an appointment, if thinking outside of the box is truly for you!

Love

 

Ingrid

 

 

 

 

Law Of Attraction

Why The Law Of Attraction Will Keep You Broke

The other day, I read something very touching on facebook:

Somebody had asked: Please post what you want to attract today.

 

The answers kept pouring in:

$ 5000.- from unexpected sources!

Perfect health!

10 new clients!

Consistent income!

Loosing 10 pounds!

 

It went on and on and I began to wonder, if these posters were serious about what they said.

If you want to loose 10 pounds, there is a way to do that, and it most likely requires a combination of diet and exercise.

If you want to attract 10 new clients, then how do they know that you are available to work with them? Are you marketing your offers? Do you even have offers?

Perfect health requires commitment to great lifestyle choices, not just commitment to the law of attraction.

Over the following days, nobody reported any success. Nobody had “attracted” $5000.-, or lost 10 pounds. Nothing had happened, nothing had changed, after they declared publicly that they had big goals and dreams.

So if they had no intention to do what it takes to reach their dreams, why were they posting them on facebook, for everybody to see?

Remember: When we rely on just thinking about what we want, without taking any action to get it, then the Law of Attraction will match the energy of our unwillingness to do what it takes to succeed.

Can you see how this makes sense?

My Story

In 2010, I knew I needed to change.

l had been volunteering the majority of my time to my EFT work with Veterans, and my business hardly brought in any income. I knew that I had to make decisions, learn what I didn’t know and do whatever I had to do to take this situation around.

I began to take trainings and go to conferences where people gathered and shared their knowledge, who really too their business.

Suzanne Evans

One of the first, and also most life changing experiences was with Suzanne Evans, who just did her second live event “Be the Change.”

If it wasn’t for Suzanne, I would have never had the courage to hire my first coach, to take the steps I needed to take and to create that 6 figure business that I have today.

So it is with pride and gratitude that I am inviting you to join her newest free of charge video, an  experience that I know will change your life.

Here is the link:

http://tinyurl.com/pxodrbg/

Screenshot 2013-12-11 20.06.52

The Art Of Taking Responsibility

One thing I noticed about successful people is, that they always take responsibility for where they are in their life and business.

They don’t play the “blame game”, they don’t assume that the world is just against them and there is nothing they can do.

They usually have done a fair amount of mindset work to be able to move past their fears.

They have done quite a bit of training and coaching.

They have asked for help and support.

But most importantly: When something happens in their life or business, they own it.

 

Why taking responsibility Is the first step to freedom

You may ask: But what if what happened isn’t their fault?

What if someone else did them wrong?

What if others have bad intentions and wanted to hurt them?

Yes, these things happen every day.

People and circumstances influence us every day

Stuff happens, and there might not be much we can do sometimes.

 

But successful people don’t feel that circumstances can victimize them.

They don’t believe that things happen completely out of their control.

They see how there is a cause and effect between the things we do and the things that are caused by what we do.

 

Whose permission do you need to be happy?

Successful people create their own happiness.

Unsuccessful people believe that their happiness depends on other people.

The difference is in the mindset:

As long as you believe that other people have control over your life and feelings, they do.

As long as you believe that you can’t control your own decisions because they don’t depend on you: You’re right.

How often are we holding on to the belief that we can’t be happy unless someone else changes, apologizes or takes responsibility for wrong doing?

These kind of thoughts can cost you your life!

You may be waiting and waiting for that one sentence, that one gesture or apology for years to come.

It may never come.

And even if it came, it might not feel the way you need it to feel.

You have waited all your life for that person to apologize, and now they do, and it doesn’t feel grand.

What a waste of time!

Think about all the other amazing things you could have done with your life instead of waiting for an apology.

 

Not that you didn’t’ deserve it, but is it really worth waiting for it for years?

Unsuccessful people decide that it is worth their precious lifetime to wait for others to change before they themselves take action.

Successful people decide that it is not worth their time.

They take responsibility for how they feel, take action around the issue that is holding them back, and claim their power back.

They understand that whatever happens in their own life is something they can change.

They refuse to be a victim of people or circumstances.

They learn and grow.

They do what they need to do t move forward.

And they celebrate their success and their freedom because they know how hard it was to get there.

You can do this, too.

Think about a person who is holding you back from being successful.

Own your beliefs and feelings.

Do whatever you can to work on your own behalf, not against them, not to teach them a lesson, but simply because you decided to never be a victim again.

Put a victorious smile on your face, acknowledging that they may never recognize that you have changed without their knowing.

And if they don’t know that you have moved on, they can’t hold you back.

Easy 🙂

Go give it a try and take responsibility for your happiness.

The power of your success and satisfaction might surprise you.

 

Here’s to you!

Ingrid

 

Screenshot 2013-12-11 19.37.22

Why You Need A Plan To Be Successful

Every successful business owner will confirm: Building a business is an adventure. There are times when it is exciting, exhilarating and great fun.

You find out that you can really help people. You can really make a difference. People respect and love you.

And you respect and love yourself as well.

You are proud of what you have accomplished and how much you, and your bank account have grown.

And your family and friends are excited, too.

You can help them, support them, do fun things with them.

Your life is different since you have success.

Yes, it is truly an exciting and wonderful life.

 

What to expect, no matter how good and determined you are

But every successful business owner will also share with you that this is only a part of the big picture:

There are times when you realize that you are scared to death to move forward.

There are times when the next step in your business an life is uncomfortable.

There are times when you have to take a leap of faith, not knowing if it works out or not.

There are times when you have to admit that, despite your best efforts, you failed with your plan.

 

Both sides are a natural part of building a future in your own way.

There is no “quick get rich easy” system.

Everything you do needs to fit into a bigger picture that acknowledges your professional and personal growth, the growth of your outreach, your confidence and your skills.

Without a plan, you will feel like a boat bouncing in the ocean.

 

What a plan is not

A plan is not a non-negotiable, no nonsense, arm twisting list of demands and expectations, hard core deadlines and no mercy accountability.

What a plan is

A plan is your roadmap.

It helps you focus, so that you can reach your goals.

It tells you where to spend your time, which actions to take and which actions to take later.

It helps you make sure that you have your ducks in a row so you can reach your goal without winging it last minute.

 

Imagine you lived in Boston and wanted to go to Chicago.

Do you just get into your car and start driving, knowing that Chicago will come up eventually?

Of course not!

You don’t even start by getting into your car.

First you decide when you want to leave Boston, and when you want to be in Chicago.

You will set your priorities with regards to time and money:

Is your most important criteria that you only have a few morning hours to get there?

Do you have to be back at a certain time?

How much time do you have, and how important is it to you that you get there at a certain time?

If you have a business meeting, chances are that arrival times are non-negotiable.

If you want to visit friends or family, you may have more flexibility.

If Chicago is just one of many  stops on a great, 3 week road trip adventure, you won’t care so much if you get there Mondays or Wednesdays.

 

The second decision you will need to make is, how much money you are willing to spend to get to your destination:

If it is a business trip, then you know that Time is money, and using an airplane is most likely the best choice for you.

If you travel with family, and would have to spend on 4 tickets, you might consider using your car, a greyhound bus or train.

 

All these decisions need to be considered before you even make the first step.

The earlier you make them, the better rates you will get on those bus or airline tickets.

When you use your car, this is not such an important criteria.

 

Do you begin to see the picture?

Now let’s say you decided to use your car to drive.

You know that the trip will be more adventurous. You have to find gas stations and restaurants, will encounter lots of people and possibly stay over night somewhere. You will have a story to tell.

You decide on the road you want to take, set your GPS and print out your map.

You fill the cooler with water and food and bring your coffee mug for refills.

You put your luggage in the trunk. Most likely you packed more than you would if you only had the overhead space in the airplane.

Then you start your trip.

You know that, if all goes well, yo have a certain number of hours to go, driving at a certain speed, taking a certain amount of breaks.

The adventure begins.

You may run into a traffic accident that puts you into a traffic jam.

You may meet someone at the gas station that tells you that the road you wanted to take has horrible rush hours and recommends a shortcut.

You may find yourself much more exhausted than you thought you would be and realize you need to rest.

You may find yourself so excited and in a good mood that you decide to skip lunch and just keep going.

You may see a sign to a sight that you always wanted to visit and decide to take a couple of hours to fulfill yourself that dream.

You may get a call from a client and need to find a parking lot to take a break and tend to her needs.

None of this will happen if you use the airplane.

However, you are in control, as you are driving.

If you choose the airplane, there is nothing you can do about delays, poor weather conditions and cancellations.

 

What if you didn’t have a plan?

If you didn’t have a plan, you would easily loose orientation. You would loose your goal. You would find yourself getting sidetracked by other destinations.

Did you see that sign to Orlando? That sign to New Orleans? These cities sound like so much fun!

If you didn’t have a plan, chances are you might take detours or even get completely of your goal, just to explore.

 

How to start getting a plan

First you need to know what you ultimately want.

This is not determined by what you believe you can have, should have or should do.

It needs to be an honest, deep felt desire to get something done, make a certain amount of money, live a specific life style (be clear you have enough details to make if feel real), or other variables that are truly important and non-negotiables for you.

 

Then, you reverse engineer, broken down into time segments, what it will take to get there.

Set your “must have’s” and your “Would be great to have, but not essential” goals.

Really do the math.

How much money will you need to create?

How much the will you need to spend?

How much can you invest?

What other resources do you have available.

When you have everything broken down into segments, you can prioritize your goals for the coming months.

Then stick with that plan.

Reevaluate

And change what doesn’t work after you tried it.

Staying focused on a plan can be challenging at first.

Trust me, I had to learn this the hard – no – the VERY hard way! 🙂

But when you commit to doing whatever you decided to do and not stop until you reached your goal, you will find the blessings in having more money, more time, more confidence and more results.

What is your plan?

What help do YOU need?

I’d recommend to sit down and get serious about deciding and prioritizing how you want to get to Chicago, when, with whom and for how long.

Then prepare what needs to be prepared and KNOW that you will get there.

 

It is more fun like that.

Warmly

 

Ingrid

 

 

 

Screenshot 2013-11-14 00.47.39

You’ve gotta get to know the people you’re working with

Screenshot 2013-11-14 00.47.39I hear the excitement in their voice: “Ingrid, I am so passionate about this work! I need to get this message out there. There are so many people who need me to help them. My method is unique and so powerful that people will be completely transformed.”

Yes, I reply, so what would you like to do next?

I want to build a business.

I want to be a speaker.

A coach.

A healer.

I know I can make a difference, and it is worth more than anybody will ever understand.

How do I get paid for sharing my gifts?

 

Who are you talking to?

“Well, that’s great!” I will most likely say, “Tell me more about the people you serve. Who are they? What are their problems? What do they need?”

At first I will get a confident answer:” They struggle with making money.” or “They want to loose weight.”

 

But then, it becomes trickier.

“Who are they?” I will ask. What is their life like?

Why is money a problem for them?

Why do they want to loose weight?

Are they overweight, or do they just think they are, or,…”

Please tell me their story.

 

Tell me the story

The most likely hear, that the program or service is so important that it can serve anybody, and it just doesn’t make sense to exclude someone and possibly miss out on an important market.

“It really could be anybody with money issues” they say.

And of course, this is true.

Many different people can use our services.

But unless we get into their minds, know their story, understand why they have the problem we want to help them solve, they will remain anonymous to us. They will not find us online, because that might just not be where they are looking for solutions.

They may not be where we speak, because we don’t know which venues or events they prefer.

They may not understand why our offer is important, because we use language or examples in our talk that simply doesn’t hit the mark with them.

 

Who are they?

Where do they eat?

How old are their kids?

Where do they shop?

Do they prefer Yoga or weights as a workout? Why?

What do they read?

Do they like the internet, or do they find it overwhelming?

And most importantly:

 

how do they know they have a problem, and

How exactly do they describe the problem they have?

Why this is important?

Because when yo understand their exact language, you can use their words to help them find you.

 

Use their words!

 

Let me give you an example:

You may write a blog post saying “I help women loose weight.”

But they don’t describe loosing weight as a problem they want to solve.

Their problem is that they feel fat.

Or that their husband thinks they’re fat and their relationship suffers.

Or that they have to fit into that gown on Saturday for the wedding, and they have of find a way to loose 7 pounds until then.

Or they just found out that they are not healthy anymore. They don’t want to loose weight, they want their doctor tell them that their cholesterol is OK again.

 

Who would you trust more?

Now, when You have a problem to solve, who would you trust more:

A person that uses the exact same language as you, or

A person that talks over your head in general terms and always about themselves and the solution they found to a problem that, in general, everybody has?

 

You would feel closer to the person who speaks your language, right?

You would feel that she is nicer.

Maybe you feel she is a better fit because she “really gets you.”

And you are probably right with this, because a person who takes the time to find out all about you and the problems you really have is a person that shows integrity and trustworthiness in her business.

 

Get to know them and listen!

So get to know the people you will really work with.

Don’t wait until they find you because of a blogpost or on social media.

Instead, contact them, learn all you can about them, really get to know them.

Use their language to describe what you do and their description of their desired outcome, if you can deliver this, to talk about the results of working with you.

 

Self Improver

The Self Healer State of Mind: Are You Building Your Business To Help Yourself?

Self ImproverIn the world of transformational healers and coaches, our message and mission is usually solidly based in our own story.

Something happened to us that we struggled to overcome.

And now, that we are in a better place, we feel ready to help others who are going through similar issues themselves.

That would be a great business plan, wouldn’t it?

 

The Story Of “Sue”

I will never forget how, a few years ago, I was sitting in a meeting room next to a woman, let’s name her Sue.

Sue had just gone through a very messy divorce.

She had lost everything in the process: Her house, her friendships, her identity.

She was struggling to keep it together as she was presenting her situation to the rest of us, who were working on building our businesses.

She shared with us all the emotional details of the law suit, dealing with her kids’ affairs and the aggressiveness of her ex husband.

She was upset about all the mistakes the felt she had made, and was very clear that, if she had had someone to support her along the way, she could have avoided much of the drama and her life would be much better now.

 

This situation was now about 3 months behind her, and people told her that she was a resource for others and should write a book about her process.

So that’s what she set out to do.

She was going to build a business where she would help women who were going through a divorce.

She was going to coach them, guide them and be that advisor and friend for them that she wish she had had when she was going through this process.

She was going to be the light bearer, the communicator between her clients and their spouses, the attorneys and the people who were in charge of the kids.

She knew she could do it.

She had been there herself.

 

We all agreed that she had the knowledge to deliver her services in a profound and relevant way.

We could see her passion and determination when she talked about her future niche.

 

But there was something about Sue that didn’t quite add up:

It felt like her struggle wasn’t really resolved.

She got very triggered when people voiced some doubt about her point of view.

She got emotional when she talked about the importance of helping women getting through divorce, and it felt that this emotion was caused by her own trauma, not the issues she wanted to help her clients with.

Is short:

It really felt as if a part of the reason why Sue chose this particular niche was, to find comfort and healing herself.

 

When we pointed this out to her, she immediately went into defense, felt attacked and uncomfortable.

She burst into tears and raised her voice.

“NO!” she said “I know what I am doing, I am ready and I am good at it!”

 

Gosh, this was uncomfortable, and we all felt it.

We wanted to help, but it was just not possible to get through to her.

I certainly wished her the best, but, given what I know about business and learned from people who are dealing with legal issues, she might have ended up struggling quite a bit to get a long term business of the ground.

 

The true problem: The Self Healer State Of Mind

I have seen this pattern in many Healers and Coaches who want to help others through a trauma they have strongly experienced themselves:

There is just not enough distance, enough closure from the practitioner’s side to allow for the detachment and focus they need to truly help.

And I have yet to see someone who would have been successful and charge what they are worth, and saying “no” to a client who can’t pay.

There is so much value for them in just doing the work with someone who understands and validates them, that this alone is worth keeping going, even if finances suffer.

And there are those memories, in Sue’s case what it felt like to be out on the street with three small children and a backpack full of clothes, not knowing where to turn next.

How could she turn a mother away who had no place to go, was at the end of her rope and reached out for help?

As a business woman, she can’t afford to help everybody who needs her for free.

As a future entrepreneur in self healer state, she cannot afford not to.

Do you see the conflict here?

 

How to build a successful business, even though trauma is still there

This is why I always advise my clients to not build their business on unresolved emotional issues of their own, no matter how far they have come in the healing process.

They will most likely struggle

  • charging what they need to keep the doors open,
  • being clear about the boundaries between their business and their private life
  • be too self invested and easily triggered to coach somebody who is in strong emotional trouble
  • and might fade when tough decisions need to be made

These are just some of the reasons why Coaches and healing professionals, who are in the self healer state, will struggle building a successful business based on their own, unresolved story.

There are many niche markets and messages that we can build a successful and thriving business on, even if we are still going through specific trauma in our life.

Making our unresolved problems the center of our business will most likely backfire.

Being realistic about this will help us create the income we want in a thriving business, and then help those that we are sharing similar stories with, for a nominal fee or free.

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