More on giving and receiving – a Veterans’ skill

Giving and receiving have to be in harmony. As much as helping others is our human responsibility, being helped and supported by others is the other task. Only if we master both skills can we live in harmony.

Of course, there are situations where we cannot give back to the same person we received from. so we give to someone else who needs what we have to offer.

In Bob’s case, it was not just the outpouring of support that allowed him to make this great life change, it was his courage to take a quantum leap and accept help.

That is why I, and so many others are proud of him and honored to be allowed to give support: His courage makes him a role model for so many veterans who are right now suffering from the consequences of PTSD, and find it impossible so stand by their situation and reach out.

I always try to explain: You didn’t get into this situation by yourself. There are reasons why things happened the way they did, that were beyond you, that you couldn’t influence. Many of those happened in childhood, in the early years, in school, in conflicts with parents and peers. Difficult and traumatic things happened to most of the Veterans I have been working with, and they set the framework for how life unfolds. These reasons and circumstances usually go much deeper than what most are aware of and willing to admit.

It is in the context of life, what we know and believe, what we have been taught and what our social and other circumstances allow for us to do, that trauma happens. And even though we are responsible for our actions, we still don’t always have the power to change what we don’t like, to do or see what is right and to act the way we would like to act.

And it is in this context, that we deserve forgiveness, even by ourselves.

As EFT practitioner, I always explain that I don’t judge, condone or excuse what happened.  Instead, my sole mission is to help heal what happened.

Once we accept help, we learn that true forgiveness is possible and that the consequence of forgiveness is always more freedom and peace. 


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