“I know a lot of guys who need more help than I do. You should start with them!”
I can’t tell you how many times I have heard this sentence in the past months and years. Too many Veterans believe that they were “one of the lucky ones”, and that help and support should only go to those who have “really suffered”.
My standard answer to this is “Yeah, maybe…but most people have been through a lot less…”.
War changes people, and a warrior who returns from deployment, deserves respect and support, a safe place to deal with and heal from what he or she has been through. A warrior deserves to be listened to without judgment, and to be surrounded by a supportive and loving community which is sensitive and compassionate.
As EFTers, we can give this support without judging, condoning or excusing what happened. For us, what counts is only how a person feels, thinks or reacts to trauma, not the trauma itself.
If someone is outraged, we deal with the anger itself.
The tapping takes the charge out of the emotion, the memory, and even many physical symptoms, by simply doing our EFT routine while honoring that the feelings are there.
Not WHY someone is angry, and to find coping strategies for this, is the focus of our work, but THAT the anger is there. I often ask my clients: “How do you want to feel about what happened, after we are done tapping?” They might answer:”I just don’t want it to bother me anymore.”, or: ”I just want to be OK with it, but I don’t know, how.”, or: “I don’t care, I just want to move on with my life, and this holds me back.”
The tapping session might then begin with: (tapping on the Karate Chop Point at the side of the hand):
“Even though this SOB screwed me, and I am furious about that, I can choose to relax when I am ready.”
“Even though I am so mad that this happened, I chose to be surprisingly calm and relaxed anyway.”
“Even though it is completely unfair that I had to go through this, I allow myself to find a way to move on that truly works for me.”
Everybody deserves help and support, because war is traumatic, and being exposed to it changes a person in many ways. I am grateful that with EFT, we can honor the person and assist the healing, even if he or she doesn’t want to share what happened and is hesitant to accept help and support.