Healing Breast Cancer And Choosing Life

So the good news is: I am still cancer free! Another blood test, another physical exam, same results: The tumor markers continue to be completely normal! No signs whatsoever of the recurrence of the 2-3 cm breast cancer tumors that were detected last year! YAY!
My Oncologist is blissed out and so am I.

He urged me to continue to do whatever I am doing, and he knows that I am fighting for what I want every day. He knows that I am not just doing the prescribed hormone therapy, which, according to research can only temporarily stop the growth, but not eliminate cancer. He knows that I did lots of research and am implementing lots of different modalities, and the results show perfect health. All organs are clean, strong and healthy. Boom!

But this time was different for me.
This time I was very scared that the results might not be positive. I had one of my dearest friends diagnosed with a bitch of a cancer last month. I had two other friends with cancer or protective surgery, and doing what I can to support them.
Lots more was going on. My lower back started to cramp up so that I could hardly walk. Then the rib on the left started to get painful again. It was the same pain that signaled me last year that I should go and see my oncologist. And then I got the bad news that I had a recurrence.

Then October 7th hit, which is the anniversary date of my first diagnosis. The Indian summer skies and leaf colors, the crispness of the air, the pristine energy that New Hampshire has during the peak season of the Indian summer all triggered me and brought back memories of my first fight 11 years ago, when I opted for surgery, chemo, radiation and hormone therapy- and thank goodness I did smile emoticon.

I didn’t realize that I was in the middle of my anniversary time, and that the stress and fear of that had gotten to me. Instead, the pain on my left became excruciating. Every time I moved, I was in pain.
And every time I was in pain, an inner voice made a connection between that experience and cancer.

The powerful thing is that, as soon as the doctor came back with the wonderful, positive results, smiling all over his face and celebrating the success, my pain went away. Haven’t had it since. It just disappeared.

Now I have been an EFT practitioner for over 13 years. I know my stuff. I know about how emotions steer and impact physical pain. I have worked with this extensively, and successfully. And yet, there are times when we just can’t do our work alone. We need to surrender and ask for help. I know first hand that the body can heal when the emotions heal. But we must never be so entitled as to believing that, just because we know how healing works, we don’t need to do more work and ask others to support us.

There are few things as stressful as waiting for a diagnosis. Having to do this every 3 months, potentially for the rest of my life is a bit like torture. Having to live with uncertainty requires strength and commitment to never give up what works, to never change good habits, to continue to do whatever it takes and to never cut corners when it comes to health and happiness.

It’s a huge commitment, that can only be made when it is honest, deep felt and comes from within. It has to be true that we want to live. It has to be true that we are OK with living any life that the universe has in stock for us, as long as we can be alive. We can’t bargain with the universe that we only want to stay alive if we get ABC, or if our life will be different.

We have to be willing to accept life itself, the good, the bad and the ugly. And we have to be willing to make any and all changes that might be required to stay alive. We can’t bargain with the Universe. We have to fully, honestly and wholeheartedly commit.

We are the only ones who can change our life.
We are the only ones who can make decisions about our future.
We are the only ones who can make the necessary shifts in habits, food, relationships, physical requirements, medications, spirituality, place of living, profession, and so much more.

When we decide to stay alive, which is a decision independent of the “how am I going to do that” question, doors begin to open.
Nobody knows how long we have here on planet earth.
But we can decide to be alive for as long as we live.
In charge, in control, doing our very best, accepting and giving support, defining our purpose and goals, creating and nurturing the right relationships, making a difference and never, never, never giving up – for as long as we shall live.

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