Feeling Undeserving – An Epidemic Amongst Healers And Coaches

Sometimes I wonder if there is an epidemic that is going a round spiritual entrepreneurs? Is it mindset, trauma, limiting beliefs? Why are so many feeling undeserving of getting paid what their contribution to the world is worth? Why do they want so much for others, for people they care for and want to help, but have so little compassion with their own needs?

Why is it that so many are they doubting their value, are afraid to charge for their services and the transformation they help others achieve in their lives, and rather find a job that pays little than asking a person whose life they touched and changed for the money they need to live?

I have been in the healing and coaching community world for way over a decade, and it has been sad to watch how some of the most gifted, most passionate, most loving souls were so desperately under water that they lost their homes, the trust of their families and friends and didn’t know how to ever pay back their credit card debt and student loans.

Yes, I know how hard it is to switch from volunteering to building a business. I have been there for years, as I was sending trucks into war zones, organized peace tracks and volunteered hundreds of hours for getting EFT into the Military and to Veterans and their families. I remember crying many tears when I realized that I just didn’t know how to change my situation and turn the pro bono work I loved to do into a business that would allow me and my family the lifestyle and security we needed, without compromising or sacrificing the cause I stand for.

Several years later, after building a successful coaching business, I can share with gratitude that I am now reaching more people than I ever had when I was giving my time for free, and my clients are more dedicated and committed than ever to get past their challenges and make their story matter.

What do You think is the reason why so many people feel undeserving to get paid, even though they know that their skill set and gifts are saving lives every day?

And what can we do to change this?

I’d love to read your comments.

With deep appreciation for who you are



  1. Kara Bryant on June 2, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Huge! We were raised that way, being called selfish, spoiled, lazy and entitled for expecting to be paid for anything we do. We’ve been taught from birth that we don’t deserve anything and we are never as good as our elders. This is a societal tradition that is passed down from generation to generation. It’s a common belief that treating our children that way is good for them.

  2. Helen Vella on March 10, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    I find the same things with my clients, and I just did a workshop yesterday and the main theme coming up was that I do Not Deserve.

    I had a 13 year old last week in session and she said the same thing.

    Society has a lot do with this in my opinion and experience.

  3. Teresa on March 8, 2013 at 7:11 pm

    An issue for me is not feeling fully confident in my gifts. I enjoy researching and writing grant proposals for nonprofits. While I do good work, I think that the ultimate proof is whether the proposal is accepted for funding. When the “no” answers come — and the “no” may be related to a hundred factors besides the quality of the writing — I take the “no” as a personal rejection of what I am offering to the world.

    Thanks so much for offering this discussion!

  4. Rachael on February 27, 2013 at 5:11 am

    Hi Ingrid,

    Great post, and I’ve got a lot to say. I think my own reason for not being able to charge is because I know how life-changing EFT is, and because I really want to help people. I’m worried if I charge people won’t come and they won’t get the life-changing healings they deserve. I WANT to help people, and I feel money stands in the way of it. What if they can’t afford it? What if they won’t even try it because they have to pay? How will I let them know the importance of this work if I ask for money?
    And then here’s the thing, because I did so much volunteer work, I didn’t have the money I and my family needed to make it sustainable. And now I have a computer job that I hate – but I need – and which leaves me with little time to pursue further EFT training and no time to work with others. So did I help people by not charging? No. Did I help myself? No way. And now I’m not sure how to even begin to get out of this with a job that takes up so much time, that isn’t leading me in the direction I want to go.

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