You've gotta get to know the people you're working with

Screenshot 2013-11-14 00.47.39I hear the excitement in their voice: “Ingrid, I am so passionate about this work! I need to get this message out there. There are so many people who need me to help them. My method is unique and so powerful that people will be completely transformed.”

Yes, I reply, so what would you like to do next?

I want to build a business.

I want to be a speaker.

A coach.

A healer.

I know I can make a difference, and it is worth more than anybody will ever understand.

How do I get paid for sharing my gifts?


Who are you talking to?

“Well, that’s great!” I will most likely say, “Tell me more about the people you serve. Who are they? What are their problems? What do they need?”

At first I will get a confident answer:” They struggle with making money.” or “They want to loose weight.”


But then, it becomes trickier.

“Who are they?” I will ask. What is their life like?

Why is money a problem for them?

Why do they want to loose weight?

Are they overweight, or do they just think they are, or,…”

Please tell me their story.


Tell me the story

The most likely hear, that the program or service is so important that it can serve anybody, and it just doesn’t make sense to exclude someone and possibly miss out on an important market.

“It really could be anybody with money issues” they say.

And of course, this is true.

Many different people can use our services.

But unless we get into their minds, know their story, understand why they have the problem we want to help them solve, they will remain anonymous to us. They will not find us online, because that might just not be where they are looking for solutions.

They may not be where we speak, because we don’t know which venues or events they prefer.

They may not understand why our offer is important, because we use language or examples in our talk that simply doesn’t hit the mark with them.


Who are they?

Where do they eat?

How old are their kids?

Where do they shop?

Do they prefer Yoga or weights as a workout? Why?

What do they read?

Do they like the internet, or do they find it overwhelming?

And most importantly:


how do they know they have a problem, and

How exactly do they describe the problem they have?

Why this is important?

Because when yo understand their exact language, you can use their words to help them find you.


Use their words!


Let me give you an example:

You may write a blog post saying “I help women loose weight.”

But they don’t describe loosing weight as a problem they want to solve.

Their problem is that they feel fat.

Or that their husband thinks they’re fat and their relationship suffers.

Or that they have to fit into that gown on Saturday for the wedding, and they have of find a way to loose 7 pounds until then.

Or they just found out that they are not healthy anymore. They don’t want to loose weight, they want their doctor tell them that their cholesterol is OK again.


Who would you trust more?

Now, when You have a problem to solve, who would you trust more:

A person that uses the exact same language as you, or

A person that talks over your head in general terms and always about themselves and the solution they found to a problem that, in general, everybody has?


You would feel closer to the person who speaks your language, right?

You would feel that she is nicer.

Maybe you feel she is a better fit because she “really gets you.”

And you are probably right with this, because a person who takes the time to find out all about you and the problems you really have is a person that shows integrity and trustworthiness in her business.


Get to know them and listen!

So get to know the people you will really work with.

Don’t wait until they find you because of a blogpost or on social media.

Instead, contact them, learn all you can about them, really get to know them.

Use their language to describe what you do and their description of their desired outcome, if you can deliver this, to talk about the results of working with you.


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